Post by Freedom on Jan 5, 2010 10:00:42 GMT -5
Oldies but goodies. ;D
..
Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Scotty: Captaiiin, i'm giving it all-ive goot, it's going to bloow if we don't get the chicken across the rooad.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken said "woaa man, you must be putting me on", God Said "what!" the chicken said "where do you want this walking done ?".
Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Ralph Nader: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Plato: For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Elvis:
I ain't nuthin' but a chicken, trying to cross the road, i ain't nothing but a chicken and you ain't no friend of mine.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? Where do they get these chickens?"
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Thoreau: To live deliberately and suck all the marrow out of life.
Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's
capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
SILVIO BERLUSCONI
If the chicken crosses the road, it will be rounded up and deported back to Africa
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us
or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
Timothy Leary:
Tune in, drop out and cross the road.
JOHN HOWARD
I agree with George and Tony.
KIM BEAZLEY
There is no challenge to the chicken at this stage, but if I were crossing
the road .....
SIMON CREAN
@#@#!!@ Chicken. No one crosses the @#@#!!@ road without my @#@#!!@ say so.
It's time for the chicken to put up or shut up.
PETER HOLLINGSWORTH (Governor-General)
I am not aware of any impropriety in the chicken crossing the road. In fact
I am led to believe that it was the other way around and the chicken asked
for it.
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
DAD
In my day, the chicken would walk five miles, sometimes in snow, just to cross the road.
OPRAH
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt
accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but its not the only hen.
MICHAEL JACKSON
There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
ARSENE WENGER
What chicken? I did not see it.
ALEX FERGUSON
The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not
bigger than this club.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and internet
explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
NELSON MANDELA
The chicken wishes to cross the road to find a free, just, egalitarian society to which it can live in peace and harmony with all it's neighbors.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Little Richard:
Good golly miss chicken, you sure like to ball, running across the road , when you can here mama call.
BILL CLINTON
I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
..
Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Scotty: Captaiiin, i'm giving it all-ive goot, it's going to bloow if we don't get the chicken across the rooad.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken said "woaa man, you must be putting me on", God Said "what!" the chicken said "where do you want this walking done ?".
Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Ralph Nader: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Plato: For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Elvis:
I ain't nuthin' but a chicken, trying to cross the road, i ain't nothing but a chicken and you ain't no friend of mine.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? Where do they get these chickens?"
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Thoreau: To live deliberately and suck all the marrow out of life.
Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's
capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
SILVIO BERLUSCONI
If the chicken crosses the road, it will be rounded up and deported back to Africa
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us
or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
Timothy Leary:
Tune in, drop out and cross the road.
JOHN HOWARD
I agree with George and Tony.
KIM BEAZLEY
There is no challenge to the chicken at this stage, but if I were crossing
the road .....
SIMON CREAN
@#@#!!@ Chicken. No one crosses the @#@#!!@ road without my @#@#!!@ say so.
It's time for the chicken to put up or shut up.
PETER HOLLINGSWORTH (Governor-General)
I am not aware of any impropriety in the chicken crossing the road. In fact
I am led to believe that it was the other way around and the chicken asked
for it.
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
DAD
In my day, the chicken would walk five miles, sometimes in snow, just to cross the road.
OPRAH
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt
accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but its not the only hen.
MICHAEL JACKSON
There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
ARSENE WENGER
What chicken? I did not see it.
ALEX FERGUSON
The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not
bigger than this club.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and internet
explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
NELSON MANDELA
The chicken wishes to cross the road to find a free, just, egalitarian society to which it can live in peace and harmony with all it's neighbors.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Little Richard:
Good golly miss chicken, you sure like to ball, running across the road , when you can here mama call.
BILL CLINTON
I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n